Refried Beans So Good You Might Think I’m Mexican

Homemade refried beans. They’re totally NOT primal but on the rare occasion I want to eat a rebel meal refried beans would be it. I make these a lot for my husband since he’s a) not Primal and b) Mexican. It’s the kind of meal I can always feed him in a pinch. Like if I’ve spent too much time blogging or goofing off on Facebook and forget to take something out of the freezer for dinner. Bam! I just make some homemade refried beans slap them into a tortilla and no one’s the wiser. Saved! Whew…

I’m not sure why anyone would buy refried beans from a can when you can make them so easily at home. And impress your friends. Again like so many other things I make, there’s only like, three Ingredients: Bacon, beans & jalapenos. Simple.

I know there are other ways to make beans but my beans are…well, they’re flipping fantastic! I dare you to ask anyone who’s tried them. And since I’m such a nice person … 🙂 I’ll happily share with all of you.

Here’s how I make my beans:

1. You’ll need a pound of bacon, a 40oz can of Sun Vista Pinto Beans (I find this to be the best brand and usually the cheapest) and a little jar of sliced jalapenos, like the kind you put on top of nachos.

2. Now, you may be saying that using canned beans is not traditional. I disagree. I have tried both methods – cooking pinto beans for hours after cleaning and sorting them and canned beans. I find canned beans are not only much faster but they’re also more reliable. Sometimes if the beans are old they will never soften up no matter how long you cook them making your beans hard and lumpy instead of smooth and creamy. And you can’t tell unless you actually cook a bad batch and by then it’s too late. Your beans will be ruined. How do I know this? Because it’s happened to me. And for this reason I always use canned beans.

3. The first thing you do is render all the grease out of the one pound of bacon by frying it up in a pan. And pan choice is critical. My suggestion is to use a deeper pan with a high edge. Nothing too shallow because remember you will be adding a large can of beans to the grease and mashing the beans right in the pan. Which brings me to my second suggestion. Use a stainless steel pan. Nothing non-stick. Otherwise you may scratch the non-stick surface off and into your beans. And that would be gross AND unhealthy.

4. When you have your bacon frying in the pan don’t fry it too hot. Render the grease out slowly and you’ll get more. And not burn the bacon or the grease. Once the bacon is crispy and fairly brown (but not burnt!) lower the heat as low as possible and take out the bacon. If the bacon doesn’t get eaten right away I just cool it and put it in a ziplock and store it in the freezer for use with other meals. It keeps very well this way.

5. After the grease has had a chance to cool down for a few minutes open your can of beans draining away most (but not all) of the liquid first and then add it to the pan. It’s important not to add the beans when the grease is too hot otherwise it will pop and splatter like crazy and you might get a nice grease burn. Not good. Trust me.

6. After you’ve added the beans turn the heat back up to medium and start mashing them in with the grease until they are nice and creamy and the grease is completely incorporated. You don’t want any grease swimming on the top or the sides of the pan. If the beans are starting to bubble turn the heat down a bit.

7. After the beans are mashed and the grease incorporated add a few of the sliced jalapenos. You can add as many as you like depending on your taste. I usually put in 4 or 5. Also, and here’s my special trick – add in a little of the jalapeno juice for extra flavor. Maybe 2 Tbsp. Stir the juice into the beans and give the jalapenos a quick mash to break them up. Serve em’ up however you like!

Yep. I think I’m due for a rebel meal soon.

Happy Eating! 🙂

Primal Poppers

Mmmmm… jalapeno poppers. One of my favorite snacks. I’ve even been known to make a meal out of these things because one, two or even ten is just. Not. Enough.

I make these often. In fact I get requests’ from friends and family to make them for the holidays and since they are Primal they are  something I can eat too. So I happily bring over a big tray of em’!

They are easy but slightly time-consuming to make because you do need to prep the peppers and get them ready to be stuffed. I have a very serious bit of advice though when you make them. PLEASE WEAR GLOVES.

I once made seventy of these little buggers (that’s 140 halves!), and like an idiot I de-seeded them bare handed… OH EM GEE!!!! My hands were on fire for hours afterwards and I tried every remedy under the sun but nothing took that burning, searing pain away! I ended up coating my hands in a baking soda and water paste, taking 3 Advils and going to bed. It was a very sexy look.

Eventually the pain subsided. But it took several days for it to go away completely. It’s no joke, let me tell you. Never again will I make that mistake.

This recipe might seem overly simple just using plain cream cheese for the stuffing, but seriously, I think they taste the best this way. I’ve tried poppers with fancy fillings and bread crust crumbs on top, and multiple cheeses, but the pure simple cream cheese flavor is the perfect creamy complement to the hotness of the pepper and the saltiness of the bacon. Trust me.

Also, to those of you who might say, “Jalapeno peppers?? In my mouth?? No way! Too hot!”… well, these are surprisingly mild. I’m not saying that you might not find a rogue hottie in the bunch, but for the most part because they are de-seeded and you’re taking the membranes out (essentially all the hot stuff), they are pretty mild. Plus… don’t forget there’s that delicious cooling effect of the cream cheese to help with the hot. So don’t be a chicken.

Here’s how I make my poppers:

1. You will need as many jalapenos as you think you can eat (in my case, I’d get like… 20). Two packages of plain cream cheese and enough bacon to wrap them, probably about a 1/2 a pound. How simple is that??

2. Prep the peppers by washing them and then….. Wait. STOP. Get some gloves on first. Now you’re ready. Also, and I know it sounds funny, but I wear my sunglasses too because when you’re working with the peppers, the juice squirts right up into your face and eyes. Few things are worse than getting pepper sprayed!

3. Next, slice the peppers open length wise, trying to keep the stem intact on one, or even both sides of the halves (if you’re really good and have ninja knife skills).

4. De-seed the halves using the tip of a teaspoon, starting at the stem and scraping the insides down and out. Make sure to get every seed out near the top, unless you like some heat. I try to keep a few stray seeds in every once in a while.

5. Once the pepper halves are seed and membrane free, stuff them generously with cream cheese. Don’t skimp on the cheese. Fill them at least level with the pepper and smash it in there good! I find if I cut 1/4″ slices of cream cheese with a butter knife, I can just plop the whole blob right on the pepper and it’s the perfect amount.

6. Wrap each pepper in a piece of bacon. Depending on how big your peppers are, 1/2 a slice of bacon should do it. Remember, it shrinks up so better to cover it well than risk ending up with a bacon bit size piece of bacon around your pepper.

7. Place the peppers on a baking sheet and bake uncovered at 350 degrees for about 25-30 minutes, or until the peppers are tender and the bacon crisp. It’s better to over cook them rather than under cook them, so just do a test on one when you think it’s done and then adjust your cooking time accordingly.

8. Remove from the oven and let cool. Unless you’re like me and try to eat things when they’re scalding hot. Then by all means… live life dangerously.

Happy Eating! 🙂